In the western world we never believe we ever have enough time; we squeeze as much into our day as possible, we want to get to work, maybe grab a coffee and just get on with things. Yes, there are of course those who are cultural outliers and have a more longer-term relationship with time and a more relaxed approach to how things are done (because there is plenty of time!), but for most of us it’s about just getting on with the task at hand.
Which happens to be one of the biggest detractors from building healthy and engaging relationships at work!
To build engagement amongst peers, or between the leader and their team you need to know ‘who’ you are working with. To know ‘who’ you are working with takes time and effort…the time to build rapport and a depth of safety in the relationship that makes it easier to really relax with each other.
Let’s face it, we don’t drop our personal boundaries and defence mechanisms and let just anyone in; nor do we naturally do it quickly. So when we come to work and just get on with things we are preventing the development of rapport and resilience in our relationships.
If you are a leader, then this is one of the most effective and simplest things you can be doing to develop more engaging relationships in your team. Simply put:
- Value your 1:1’s with your team and what they represent. Skip them at your own peril.
- Be interested in your team members. We all value being acknowledged for ‘who’ we are and not just what we are there to do.
- Create opportunities for connection in the team, even brief moments, where the focus is on sharing on a values level. Most people are comfortable sharing about the things that give them enjoyment; and this is the level of sharing that removes the superficial layers and boundaries and opens the door to genuine connection.